How to Make Grape Jelly

1. Put Etta James on your car stereo.
2. Drive to the Willamette Valley
3. Stop for pork stomach tacos at La Estrella in Forest Grove.
4. Get to Gaston. Slow down because it is a speed trap.
5. Park the car and walk into the vineyard (having ingratiated yourself with the owners).
6. Fill a big Trader Joe's bag with pinot noir grapes from the unusually robust second growth this year.
7. Go home. Find some pectin and jars.
8. Smash the grapes with your bare hands and strain off the juice.
9. Swipe rosemary from a neighbor's yard. Put big sprigs in the juice to steep.
10. Boil a habanero pepper and put some of the liquid in the pectin.
11. Follow the directions on the pectin box for grape jelly.
12. Get distracted. Forget the sugar. Repeat step 11.